Just for Laughs......Dude

If you are looking for good clean humor, then you've come to the right place. Have a joke to share? Helpful suggestions? Leave me a message and .....Thanks for stopping by!

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Location: Fishers, Indiana, United States

Jesus is the number one priority in my life, and without Him I wouldn't be where I am, doing what I'm doing, and I try very hard to give Him the Glory in everything I do. It's hard sometimes, though, to be thankful for everything He's blessed me with. Life is too short to sit around and whine and complain about how hard things are. When it comes right down to it...EVERYONE has a hard life. You're not alone in your pain so don't act like it. It comes down to three "L's": Live for Jesus, Love everyone, Let it all out. Don't take the little things in life for granted.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

God was busy

A United States Marine was attending college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan .

One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me."

Monday, August 06, 2007

Zen ??

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes!

9. If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.