Just for Laughs......Dude

If you are looking for good clean humor, then you've come to the right place. Have a joke to share? Helpful suggestions? Leave me a message and .....Thanks for stopping by!

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Location: Fishers, Indiana, United States

Jesus is the number one priority in my life, and without Him I wouldn't be where I am, doing what I'm doing, and I try very hard to give Him the Glory in everything I do. It's hard sometimes, though, to be thankful for everything He's blessed me with. Life is too short to sit around and whine and complain about how hard things are. When it comes right down to it...EVERYONE has a hard life. You're not alone in your pain so don't act like it. It comes down to three "L's": Live for Jesus, Love everyone, Let it all out. Don't take the little things in life for granted.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

me and God.....

A question has arisen lately asking people why they go to church and what made them choose the one they attend.

Well, grab yourself some chocolate, buckle your seatbelt and enjoy the ride…..

I’ve been going to church since I was two weeks old. My mother played the piano and sang in the choir, my father led the worship music and my grandfather was the pastor. In my family, once you are too old for the nursery, you’re in church. My brother, my cousins and I all sat in the second pew so mom could keep an eye on us (the front pew was for people who came forward during the invitation). Knowing that the entire congregation was behind us and possibly watching, we tried to look as cool as we could. It was your typical small town Southern Baptist church.

My grandfather retired from the ministry and when I was five years old, he passed away. When I was six, my parents divorced and my mom remarried when I was eight. So up until the age of eight, my entire world consisted of our small neighborhood and our little church. We stayed at that church even after grandpa died and after dad left because it was our church “home”.

My step-dad was a construction engineer, so we moved a lot. Every few years, once the particular construction job was finished, we would pack up and move to the next one. Every place we moved, we would find a new church “home”. But it was never the same. I met a lot of interesting people and lived in some nice places and made some new friends, but I never experienced the feeling of “home”. It is hard to put down roots when you know you will move away in another year or two.

It has been said that you can’t go home again. That is especially true if you hadn’t actually had a place you could call “home”. My parents moved twice while I was away at college so when I went home for the holidays I felt more like a guest in someone else’s house.

Growing up this way I had to learn a few things for myself....
One: Home is where you hang your heart. You have no idea how many lives you may touch every day, so make the most out of where God puts you (after all, He’s the one in control, right?). A house isn’t a home without the people.
Two: Church is about people and has nothing to do with the building or the name on the sign out front. In just about all of the different places I’ve lived, I’ve been approached by someone who said, “You’re a Christian, aren’t you?” I’ve been both flattered and ashamed at those times. Flattered because someone thought they saw Christ in me enough to ask, and ashamed because if they really knew me deep inside, would they still bother to ask? I’ve found that the children of the Most High God seem to be drawn to each other. I hope I am never regarded by anyone as, “Oh, he’s a Christian? Gee, I never would have known.”The biggest testimony to your faith is YOU, and how you life your life every day (how you treat others).
Three: God loves me and has a plan for my life. That statement is so easy to make and yet so easily confusing to so many people. God loves me, I get that. But He has a plan for my life? Really? How do I know what that is? The truth to that is that you may never actually realize it. Unless of course, you take the time to examine your life and try to figure it out. To me, that just isn’t important. I know that a lot of people, pastors included, will disagree with me on this and that’s okay. (If you do know God's purpose for you, then great. If not, don't sweat it). I just don’t see the point in wasting my time trying to figure out what God’s plan is for my life. My reason for this is quite simple.

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

“For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.” (1 Peter 2:15-16)

Many, many years ago I realized I was living my life for me and not for God. Each time I felt God calling me to serve Him in some way, I made excuses as to why I couldn’t do it. Believe me, I came up with some really great reasons why I couldn’t possibly be the right one for the task. While at a Men’s Retreat one weekend, I realized I had been missing out on so many blessings. A wise man once told me that, “Excuses only sound good to those who make them.”

I decided right then to do things differently. One on one with God, I told Him, “My answer is ‘Yes’, now what’s the question?”

My life has never been the same. Wherever He leads me, I will go. Whatever He calls me to do, I will do.

Having said all that, you should know that I had not felt I was “home” until I moved here. I had never been to Indiana before, and I didn’t know anyone here, but I believe with all my heart that this is where God has called me to be. I have friends here that love me and hold me accountable. I have brothers in Christ who call me just because I crossed their minds and just wanted to say hello. My wife’s family accepted me from day one and show God’s unconditional love for me and my kids. Just a little bit of love goes a long way!

And for the first time I can remember, I feel I have a real church home. Northview Christian Life Church is my church home. I feel loved here. I feel I belong here. I feel I am “Home” here. But it isn’t the building, or the name, or the programs that make me feel this way. It is the people.From the moment you walk through the doors, several people will greet you and do their best to make you feel welcome. Don’t worry, you won’t get mobbed, just loved.

They are genuinely happy to see you and they are truly glad you are there. They don’t want your money and no one will ask you to join a group or to volunteer for any of the many programs going on. They will let you know about the many things available to you at Northview and that you are welcome to be a part of whatever you choose. The people here only desire to show God’s love to you in a practical way. What you do with it after that is up to you.

You can just show up, sit through the service, get fed (spiritually), and leave without saying a word and that’s okay. Or you can hang around and get to know some rather awesome people. Either way, you will be accepted here and no one will judge you or look down on you, no matter who you are or where you came from. Jesus Christ hung on a cross and paid the price for your sins and mine, and if you are good enough for Jesus, you are good enough for us!Our church’s mission statement is quite simple. “Connecting People with God, Connecting People with People.” It is all about people.

One of the ways I serve God in my church is by being the “Alpha Dude”. Alpha Dude is known to be funny and smart and silly and entertaining for the children of the adults that attend the Alpha program. Alpha Dude gives the kids (pre-school through sixth grade) the same lesson the adults are getting, just on a level that the kids can understand and enjoy. It is a great job and I have an absolute blast doing it! God has shown me what a blessing it is working those kids, even though it used to scare the bejeebers out of me working with small children. Honestly, I used to be rather intimated by little kids. I don’t know why. But God said to do it so I did it and it is an incredible blessing!During one of the lessons, I told the kids how God is the best friend they could ever have. One little girl asked me if God was really my best friend, and I replied, “Dude! Me and God are like this!” while holding up my hand with the first two fingers crossed.

Shortly after that, I saw a picture on the internet of a friend of mine that had that on a t-shirt. I thought it was the kind of shirt that Alpha Dude would wear and would go perfectly with the blue jeans and Hawaiian shirt. I searched high and low for one just like it and could not find one. So I designed and made my own.

My son wanted one so I ordered one for him and he wore it to church. Several people asked where he got it and how they too could get one.

During all of this, our church introduced a program called

God has really blessed our church and it is growing. It is growing so much, in fact, that we are running out of room for all the people. Saturday evening services aren’t too bad yet, but Sunday morning services are full and we can’t stand the thought of ever telling anyone that we don’t have a place for them to sit. So we’re going to build a bigger building. We simply have no choice. The church is expanding and we need a bigger facility for the church to meet. After all, the church is the people.

The Next Chapter involves raising the necessary funds to construct the new building. So far, God is showing He will provide and my wife and I would like to be able to contribute more than we are able. Can you see where this going? We already give as much as we can of our time and finances, but desire to do more.Here’s how you can help. Just visit http://www.cafepress.com/doing_life and buy a shirt (or ten or twenty). All of the proceeds will go to The Next Chapter building campaign. All of it. One hundred percent (100%). And how much do I get? Absolutely nothing. Zero. Nada. It ALL goes to the church.

Please visit the website. You can find shirts, sweatshirts, clocks, mouse pads, pillows, baby clothes, coffee mugs, tote bags, just about anything you like, to show the world that God is number one in your life.

These items make for great Christmas gifts. I’ve already purchased a bunch of them for my own family.

Thank you and may God Bless you.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

God was busy

A United States Marine was attending college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan .

One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me."

Monday, August 06, 2007

Zen ??

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes!

9. If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

What a Day!

I woke up this morning, put on my shirt, and a button fell off.

I opened the dresser drawer, and a knob fell off.

I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off.

I am afraid to go to the bathroom!

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Rules for Success

There are two rules for success in life:

Rule 1: Don't tell people everything you know.


Friday, June 08, 2007

Here's Yer (my) Sign...

Thursday, May 31, 2007