Look Before You Eat...

Four-year-old Jason was visiting his grandparents.
Grandpa was in his study intently reading.
Jason walked in carrying a peach, said something Grandpa didn't catch, and handed the peach to him.

Thinking his wife had sent him a snack, Grandpa took it and ate it.

Just as he swallowed the last bite, Jason, with lip quivering, said, "But, Pap, I didn't want you to eat it. I just wanted you to get the worm out!"

Diesel Fitter

Billy Bob and Rufus worked together in an Alabama clothing factory and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office.

When asked his occupation, Billy Bob said "Panty Stitcher..... I sew elastic into ladies cotton panties"..... The clerk looked up "Panty Stitcher" and it was listed as unskilled labor, so she put him down for $300 a week unemployment pay.

She asked Rufus his occupation and he said, "Diesel Fitter", which was listed as a skilled job.... She put him down for $600 a week.

...When Billy Bob found out he was furious! He stormed back into the office to find out why his co-worker got twice the money......

The clerk explained, "Panty Stitchers are unskilled, and Diesel Fitters are skilled labor"

"What skill?" yelled Billy Bob. "I sew the elastic on the panties and Rufus puts 'em over his head and says, "diesel fitter"....!!!